why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
