but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
