Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
