i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
