That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
