In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
