If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Randomize
