This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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