Yo dont text me then not text me
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
