when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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