White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
