the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
