Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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