Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
