So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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