Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
