Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
