She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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