I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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