How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
