Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize