...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
