A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
