The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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