we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Randomize
