Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize