i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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