so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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