I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
