Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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