I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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