i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
