Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
