My first STD was from a foam party
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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