their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
