i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
