Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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