Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
