I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
