I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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