Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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