i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
