is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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