Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How does one acquire holy water?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
