RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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