drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
