Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
