VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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