if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
