But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
