why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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