If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize