Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
